Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

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Mel Gibson
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193006Unread post Mel Gibson »

I don't know what hospital you're going to, but ULH appears to permit a visitor. Just have to wear a mask it seems...


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Renee
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193015Unread post Renee »

Blue Frost wrote: August 4th, 2021, 9:22 pm Well today I had some upsetting news, I might not be on tomorrow since I have to go see my mom.
I don't care what they say, or do Ill see her.
Today the respiratory doctor said the x-rays where worse, and shes loosing her battle.
He said shes about out of the fight, and even offered her Morphine today.
I want her to live, but yet not suffering you know.

They tell me one thing one day, and crush me the next, I don't know how to take it anymore.
I haven't trusted doctors in a long time, so I have a lot of doubts on their abilities, and also they give up on someone older a lot of times.
I just want her back.
Sorry to hear this....But remember that doctors don't know everything....They are just people placed in a position of medical authority...Some are good at what they do, others not so much. It's the bad ones you have to look out for and there are a lot of them.

Go see your mom. You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193017Unread post Twilight turtle »

Hello everyone...

I don't know how to say this but some very sad news, Frosty's mom passed this morning. He asked me to let you all know this sad news.
He's at the hospital right now I think.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193021Unread post Renee »

Twilight turtle wrote: August 5th, 2021, 12:59 pm Hello everyone...

I don't know how to say this but some very sad news, Frosty's mom passed this morning. He asked me to let you all know this sad news.
He's at the hospital right now I think.
:( Thanks for the update, Twilight... I am deeply saddened to read this...Words always fail me at times like this. All I or any of us can do is express our heartfelt sympathy to Blue and his family...
“A man’s rights rest in three boxes. The ballot-box, the jury-box, and the cartridge-box.”....Frederick Douglas
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193023Unread post Odinson »

I dont know what to say.

I´m truly saddened by this. :(
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193035Unread post beanthere »

Deeply sorry to hear this. My prayers go out to you Blue. Just take things one step at a time. Strangely enough, I'm going to be at a funeral tomorrow, seems like so many are crossing over these days.
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Mel Gibson
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193037Unread post Mel Gibson »

My condolences, Blue. You'll have a bit of a rough ride in front of you, especially if you're the one that has to handle your Mother's affairs now. Everyone grieves differently, so I offer no advice there.

I was the sole executor when my parents died, so I can offer support/advice when it comes to dealing with that side of things, which unfortunately will be many things that you'll still have to deal with for quite some time.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193045Unread post Blue Frost »

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate you all I hope you know.
This was so sudden, and hard for more than family here, my mom was loved by so many.
She helped so many also, and I'm hearing it a lot right now.
She was a Christian, and she would always practice what she preached as they say. she helped people that didn't even deserve it constantly.
I'm not alone I'm trying to say even if I feel like it a lot.

Ill be alright, I just need to learn to live for myself a bit more now.
Maybe find some self worth after all is said, and done.

The legal stuff is already a pain, and the bills, my guess two month for final bills, and another 6 for legal stuff.
Being executor is a good thing for me, and the family I think, being I have money I don't worry about what my mom had, and no spouse to corrupt the whole thing.
Also the stuff doesn't mean much to me, family is what matters, and they are alright.

Ill have to go downtown after all is said, and done for the courts to put thing where I can do anything, 6 weeks it could be.
Meanwhile changing the names on bills to my name is whats going to be a nuisance, and pressing.

Anyway thanks for any advise, and thoughts, they are appreciated.
I'm a bit lost really.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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Mel Gibson
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193062Unread post Mel Gibson »

There will be lots to do initially. After obituary/funeral planning (three+ months it took for a headstone to be made for my parents, so know a stone may take some time and place order ASAP if you can).

You'll need a few official death certificates to handle most things: Banking, bills, transfer of ownership of whatever your Mother had. I don't know if she had a will, or how it's set up, but that will need to be followed also if she had one. As an executor you should be able to bill your time and expenses required to execute your duties to the estate, so keep track of all expenses.

If your Mother had any financial holdings, don't distribute the full amount to beneficiaries until you obtain a clearance letter from the IRS stating her financials are in good standing. An executor can hold back estate funds for this purpose. Certain investments can be taxed heavily upon death, especially if the beneficiaries aren't the spouse of the deceased. If these taxes aren't drawn out of the estate, the executor will be responsible to pay them out of his own pocket at any time down the road.

You'll have to think about the house too. I don't know what your plans are with it, but in my experience the house will be the hardest thing to deal with. You'll sit in that house sort of stunned now. You'll see all of your Mothers belongings. It will take some time for it to sink in that she's not coming back. You'll be nowhere near this yet, but eventually her items will have to be cleaned out. Whether you do that yourself, or pay someone to do it, that will be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, because that's when you finally know she won't be returning.

I hired a crew to empty my parents house, since it became just too much for me to handle, both physically and mentally. That was the only time I actually broke down, watching all their possessions get tossed into a truck, and most likely driven off to the dump. As hard as that was to feel, it had to be done as I had no choice but to sell the house, since I have two step-siblings that were beneficiaries of the estate also.

You'll be in a spin for at least a few months, Blue. But after a year or two passes, and you've handled what is your duty to handle, you'll be in a better place. Life cannot exist without death, as we know it on this planet. You'll handle this OK. Ask people around you for help if you need it.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193065Unread post Renee »

Mel gave some good sound advice. Although I have not had to deal with this kind of situation I know that one day it is comming. And as my parents age, I know that day is coming faster than anyone would like. We all go through it and as Mel said, it's a necessity in life, unpleasant as it is.

I know you are probably overwhelmed right now and things are very raw but you will get through it not because it's easy but because you have to. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to accept help when it is offered.
“A man’s rights rest in three boxes. The ballot-box, the jury-box, and the cartridge-box.”....Frederick Douglas
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193066Unread post Odinson »

I went to a local funeral home to discuss of prices and services.


The woman whos the owner, spent 90% of the time trashing her companys competitors.

And her son was laughing extremely loudly in the conference room.



Although I found a bit amusing, I chose to use the services of the competition.




The son was laughing like this... The whole place was shaking.

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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193067Unread post Blue Frost »

Mel Gibson wrote: August 7th, 2021, 6:03 am There will be lots to do initially. After obituary/funeral planning (three+ months it took for a headstone to be made for my parents, so know a stone may take some time and place order ASAP if you can).

You'll need a few official death certificates to handle most things: Banking, bills, transfer of ownership of whatever your Mother had. I don't know if she had a will, or how it's set up, but that will need to be followed also if she had one. As an executor you should be able to bill your time and expenses required to execute your duties to the estate, so keep track of all expenses.

If your Mother had any financial holdings, don't distribute the full amount to beneficiaries until you obtain a clearance letter from the IRS stating her financials are in good standing. An executor can hold back estate funds for this purpose. Certain investments can be taxed heavily upon death, especially if the beneficiaries aren't the spouse of the deceased. If these taxes aren't drawn out of the estate, the executor will be responsible to pay them out of his own pocket at any time down the road.

You'll have to think about the house too. I don't know what your plans are with it, but in my experience the house will be the hardest thing to deal with. You'll sit in that house sort of stunned now. You'll see all of your Mothers belongings. It will take some time for it to sink in that she's not coming back. You'll be nowhere near this yet, but eventually her items will have to be cleaned out. Whether you do that yourself, or pay someone to do it, that will be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, because that's when you finally know she won't be returning.

I hired a crew to empty my parents house, since it became just too much for me to handle, both physically and mentally. That was the only time I actually broke down, watching all their possessions get tossed into a truck, and most likely driven off to the dump. As hard as that was to feel, it had to be done as I had no choice but to sell the house, since I have two step-siblings that were beneficiaries of the estate also.

You'll be in a spin for at least a few months, Blue. But after a year or two passes, and you've handled what is your duty to handle, you'll be in a better place. Life cannot exist without death, as we know it on this planet. You'll handle this OK. Ask people around you for help if you need it.
The headstone is my dads, shes being placed with him since it's a military cemetery.
Her name will be placed under his on his stone.
That all helped us a lot on all that mess, even though I would have preferred more.

I ordered 6 certificates for stuff, I really hope that is enough, I think it is.
Thankfully the banks print one off when you go in here.
The money Ill distribute when I get it, my brothers, and sisters really need it, Ill eat the taxes of course on that move, but so be it.
On the house I really don't know, Ill likely have to ask my tax person next year.
I have receipts for about everything on the house, major repairs, and the belongings, I hope that counts in on it.

Her stuff can sit where it is mostly, but we will sort a lot of it out,
There is a lot in the way of things I need done, and I really don't know if I can stay here much longer.
It hurts me being here now, and I do hate this city.

Thanks Mel, Ill try to take a lot of that into consideration, and I'm sorry you had to go through it also, I know it is a lot, and hurts so much.
I wrote a letter to my mom last night, she can't read it, but i hope it helped me some if just a little.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193068Unread post Blue Frost »

Odinson wrote: August 7th, 2021, 9:50 am I went to a local funeral home to discuss of prices and services.


The woman whos the owner, spent 90% of the time trashing her companys competitors.

And her son was laughing extremely loudly in the conference room.



Although I found a bit amusing, I chose to use the services of the competition.




The son was laughing like this... The whole place was shaking.

When my dad died the person was like a high pressure salesman, I wanted to reach over, and beat him to death.
I got mad, and got up, and just walked out, the other followed, and we went down the road.
It's sickening how they feel on your sorrow, and take advantage.
We have a good place now, they try to sell a little, but no real pressure.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193069Unread post Blue Frost »

Renee wrote: August 7th, 2021, 9:27 am Mel gave some good sound advice. Although I have not had to deal with this kind of situation I know that one day it is comming. And as my parents age, I know that day is coming faster than anyone would like. We all go through it and as Mel said, it's a necessity in life, unpleasant as it is.

I know you are probably overwhelmed right now and things are very raw but you will get through it not because it's easy but because you have to. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to accept help when it is offered.
I'm as weak as it gets on this stuff Renee, but Ill make it.
Also it seems help has not been so much help on stuff, I wish I could have done a few things alone.
Some things are not set up right, and it really weighs on me, but it's set in stone.
Ill be alright I guess, just wish I could bypass the next few days.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193071Unread post Mel Gibson »

Funeral homes can be the worst. They'll view you as nothing more than a walking ATM machine.

In fact, not long after I buried my parents, I had a 'representative' from the funeral home show up at my condo attempting to pre-sell me my own funeral services. I couldn't believe it! I told that ghoul to fuck off and to never contact me again in any way, shape, or form.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193072Unread post Mel Gibson »

Blue Frost wrote: August 7th, 2021, 10:27 am Her stuff can sit where it is mostly, but we will sort a lot of it out,
There is a lot in the way of things I need done, and I really don't know if I can stay here much longer.
It hurts me being here now, and I do hate this city.
As time goes on with your Mother no longer there, you'll probably start to feel less and less connection with the house, and with the community in general. I know I did. Even though I was born and raised there, three years after my parents died I sold my condo and moved away to where I am now. I don't regret that decision one bit, and have no desires to go back to even visit, with the exception of a yearly drive back to visit the grave.

Living a more rural life now reminds me more of how my childhood was than any large congested city ever could.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193074Unread post Odinson »

Blue Frost wrote: August 7th, 2021, 10:30 am
Odinson wrote: August 7th, 2021, 9:50 am I went to a local funeral home to discuss of prices and services.


The woman whos the owner, spent 90% of the time trashing her companys competitors.

And her son was laughing extremely loudly in the conference room.



Although I found a bit amusing, I chose to use the services of the competition.




The son was laughing like this... The whole place was shaking.

When my dad died the person was like a high pressure salesman, I wanted to reach over, and beat him to death.
I got mad, and got up, and just walked out, the other followed, and we went down the road.
It's sickening how they feel on your sorrow, and take advantage.
We have a good place now, they try to sell a little, but no real pressure.
Thats just unprofessional behavior.

They should just make you aware of all the services they can provide and leave it at that.
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193080Unread post Blue Frost »

Mel Gibson wrote: August 7th, 2021, 6:32 pm
Blue Frost wrote: August 7th, 2021, 10:27 am Her stuff can sit where it is mostly, but we will sort a lot of it out,
There is a lot in the way of things I need done, and I really don't know if I can stay here much longer.
It hurts me being here now, and I do hate this city.
As time goes on with your Mother no longer there, you'll probably start to feel less and less connection with the house, and with the community in general. I know I did. Even though I was born and raised there, three years after my parents died I sold my condo and moved away to where I am now. I don't regret that decision one bit, and have no desires to go back to even visit, with the exception of a yearly drive back to visit the grave.

Living a more rural life now reminds me more of how my childhood was than any large congested city ever could.
You hit every thing with me on that Mel, for me it's so hard to look at anything here, and see home anymore without her.
Also if I was to move I want quiet, and no trash people around, and maybe even some who care.
I'm not sure where that is, but it sounds good to me.

I don't visit much anymore, I did that constantly for maybe over a year, but my dad didn't want that, and I know my mother wouldn't want me to go through that.
Besides mentally, that long drive is brutal on me.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193082Unread post Blue Frost »

Odinson wrote: August 7th, 2021, 8:08 pm
Blue Frost wrote: August 7th, 2021, 10:30 am
Odinson wrote: August 7th, 2021, 9:50 am I went to a local funeral home to discuss of prices and services.


The woman whos the owner, spent 90% of the time trashing her companys competitors.

And her son was laughing extremely loudly in the conference room.



Although I found a bit amusing, I chose to use the services of the competition.




The son was laughing like this... The whole place was shaking.

When my dad died the person was like a high pressure salesman, I wanted to reach over, and beat him to death.
I got mad, and got up, and just walked out, the other followed, and we went down the road.
It's sickening how they feel on your sorrow, and take advantage.
We have a good place now, they try to sell a little, but no real pressure.
Thats just unprofessional behavior.

They should just make you aware of all the services they can provide and leave it at that.
I thanked the nice woman several times the last few days, and told her my story of the other place.
I really appreciate the treatment, as she said she did this for the people grieving, and I think she meant it.
The thing is shes taking a lot of the business from that other place now likely making more in the end.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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Re: Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

Post: # 193084Unread post Blue Frost »

So I just got some quiet again, been a long long day.
tomorrow is the burial, I might be there, not sure yet.
The only reason I would go anyhow would be for my siblings, and niece.
I have so many thank yous I have to give, and for you all here as well so Thank You from my heart, I wish it could be more.
"Being alone isn't what hurts. It's when the people around you make you feel alone" ~ Naruto Uzumaki, an Anime Character
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