Credit Card Debt

[Blue Frost]

So, i know someone with a lot of credit card debt, and they pretty much asked me for help.
The issue sis I don't know what to tell them.
They lost their job after an accident, and couldn't work, and had to pay bills so it drove it up.

Does anyone know where to start ?
I figure call them, and ask for a deferment on the interest if they can, and ask if the can pay it down in small sums till they get back on their feet.
I'm not sure if they do that, but that's why I'm on here asking.
Anyone know about this stuff ?

[Tribrid Vampire]

How much debt? Maybe file for bankruptcy if they don't care about credit score.

[Blue Frost]

I'm not sure, maybe $18,000 or more, I wasn't told the exact amount by him.
Going bankrupt you might end up paying more in the long run with a bad credit score, and even employers look at that stuff anymore.
I'm not sure what his thoughts are on it, but I'm sure he thought of that.

My guess is he wants a loan from me, but i really can't do that right now, and rather not wait 10 years getting it back a nickle at a time.

[Mel Gibson]

Tell him to speak to a non-profit debt counselor. They would know best as to what his best options are, whether that be to arrange a deal with his lenders, or to possibly file for bankruptcy depending on his debt load.

I would suggest not loaning him money, since there's slim chance he will repay you.

[Blue Frost]

I looked up some of those, but not sure if he will call them.
I have loaned him large sums before, but it took a long time getting ti back, and I really don't want that again.
At some point I have to let people learn, and deal with it, but I want to help somehow.

[Mel Gibson]

I know it's human nature to want to help him, but you'll just be creating a problem for yourself in the long run. He'll forever have issues with his finances, and you'll forever be viewed as a bank machine when he fucks up his finances the next time, and then the next time after that.

I have learned that lesson, and my go to response is now, "I'd like to help, but I can't afford to lend you money."

[Blue Frost]

Been loaning him money most my life, but after 50 some years it's about time right.
Yeah, I'm a crutch you can say, been one for quite a few people.
If it was maybe less than a thousand I would do it, but now I really can't afford to do that stuff anymore.
I want a new car, and things I need, and want.

I have set back all these years, and watched, i help someone, and they fall back into the same mess time, and time again.
They live it up, and I set back stressing when they do since they come running to me for a bailout.
it's got real old.
Especially when they buy junk, and have a good time without paying what they owe.

[Mel Gibson]

Unfortunately these people often don't learn. Very rarely does a true emergency create their financial troubles. They buy junk, while you sit there wondering if you'll ever get the money back you loaned them...

It's one thing to assist immediate family members in true times of trouble, but I draw the line at allowing friends to view me as a bank machine! Debt counselors or their bank can usually help them with debt consolidation or some other form of relief, but they don't like doing that because it's easier to just beg other people for cash money!

[Odinson]

He should contact the credit company and negotiate a payment plan.

Its in their best interest to keep the client paying instead of breaking him/her.


Another way is to get a more affordable loan and use that to pay the credit card bill.

[Blue Frost]

Unfortunately these people often don't learn. Very rarely does a true emergency create their financial troubles. They buy junk, while you sit there wondering if you'll ever get the money back you loaned them...

It's one thing to assist immediate family members in true times of trouble, but I draw the line at allowing friends to view me as a bank machine! Debt counselors or their bank can usually help them with debt consolidation or some other form of relief, but they don't like doing that because it's easier to just beg other people for cash money!

I have one friend I have loaned a lot of money, and he always payed me back, and last time with an extra thousand.
He is like a brother to me so I didn't mine, and I told him I didn't want the extra, but he insisted over, and over.

The one now is lethargic in paying, and misses payments, and I hate that.
Also buys stuff he shouldn't when owing, and do you think he would give me more after his taxes come in, no way.
It's got real old, and I'm trying not to do it.

[Blue Frost]

He should contact the credit company and negotiate a payment plan.

Its in their best interest to keep the client paying instead of breaking him/her.


Another way is to get a more affordable loan and use that to pay the credit card bill.

I mentioned that in an email, and gave some advise, they would know more, and could talk with the credit company for him.

[Berry Sweet]

I'm not sure, maybe $18,000 or more, I wasn't told the exact amount by him.

My guess is he wants a loan from me, but i really can't do that right now, and rather not wait 10 years getting it back a nickle at a time.

No.

This is not your problem, it's his. If he can't pay his credit card, how's he gonna pay you? He's not.

I have an uncle who is 60 and always getting himself into trouble, at his age it's become beyond pathetic already.

Never lend anyone any money.

[Blue Frost]

He don't seem to care now so I try not to worry.
He always payed me back by the way, it just took forever, and it stresses me out.
In the end I don't have that money because It was given to me in small change.

I gave him info on debt counseling, and other things, he might have got the message.
My guess is he will ignore it though, and me a while.

[Berry Sweet]

I bet you are at an age where you just want to sit back, relax and just enjoy your life...maybe take a long overdue vacation or fix something up in your house...or maybe buy yourself something nice without feeling guilty.

Don't waste this time being stressed over someone else's money problems. What happens if he gets sick or injured and is unable to work? It's something to consider, cause you never know...life is unpredictable.

Those in debt will ignore it for as long as they can...I once worked for this woman who had massive debt...she tried to hide it from her husband and had all of her bills sent to her business...she would hoard and hide them in the office...far as I know, she maxed out something like 4 credit cards...debt collectors were calling her business...she owed $2g for her phone bill which was threatening to get cut off <<wtf? I dont understand how Telus let someone go to $2g and their phone is still up and running!? Anyway, she was desperate and went to every single bank to try and get a loan...she was denied at all of them...so she went to Wells Fargo and they gave her a loan of $20g at 40% interest...what a joke!! She's never gonna pay that off!!

If asks you again in the near future you should make up a story...tell him something personal happened with family and you are strapped for cash (or whatever you think he will believe). I always tell people I'm broke when they ask for money...I did good this year and saved...someone did ask my for $100 a few months ago, I told them I was broke...my kid was there and heard...a little while later I was driving in the car with her and she's looking at me weird, im like, what!? She's all like...why did you tell them you were broke? I saw your bank balance....I was floored...damn kid was probably looking thru my stuff while I was at work...anyhow, I told her, thats the secret to having money and no one needs to know....and theb she says, smart move mom..now you can afford to buy more stuff for me!

[Blue Frost]

Gotta love kids, my little niece is like that also.

I am working on my mid 50s, hurt from work, and in constant pain so I don't get vacations, I'm stuck here unfortunately.
I would love to travel some places, and see some people on here while doing it.
Most people know my situation with money, or used to me always having it, but I don't work now so it's tighter, and what I have is mostly ties up.
As for me I want a new vehicle, I put off buying one the last two times people borrowed from me.
Also people should know better this time of year asking for money, people already have stuff they need to buy, and to do, not to mention tax season soon after.

The worst part for me is I worry, I worry a lot about friends, and family, I just hate to think of them in need even if they are fools at times.
To bad they don't worry half as much, they wouldn't be in those situations.

[beanthere]

My family is in debt too, mostly because when we bought our place, I had a really good job and it was easy to swing the mortgage. Then the company folded, we were all laid off and I spent the next 10 years of my life working low paid jobs that I could get, and refinancing as we went. Meanwhile, the kids were growing up and all the activities that they were involved with cost us, particularly my daughter with her figure skating. She is good enough though now, that if she keeps pushing forward with it, she can be coaching and making good money as a skating coach. So, with her, we had to see it as an investment for her future. Meanwhile, interest rates started going up, along with insurance costs, strata fees, auto repairs, utilities, for people who are trying to get ahead, none of this helps. Then, as if this isn't enough, my wife's family in the Phillipines are struggling like almost everyone else there. Typhoons destroying whole areas, people without anything but the clothes on their backs just trying to survive. And then, if somebody there gets sick enough to go to a hospital, the damn hospital won't release them until the bill is paid, adding more to a bill that's hard to pay in the first place. On the plus side, we can usually get enough paid to keep the collectors off our backs. So many people out there who's lives are destroyed because of the virus. All of this, but I have never asked anyone for money, ever.

[Blue Frost]

Unfortunate beanthere, sorry hearing all that, but unlike the friend your situation was not caused by you.
I lost my jobs before, and it was hard without a family, I know it's really bad when you do.
I watched my dad go through it back in the late 70s, he tried a lot of stuff, and ended up going bankrupt in the end.
He actually borrowed money from me, I didn't want ti back, but he paid me anyhow. It really made me feel bad taking it back.

The virus thing is political, and uncalled for, people should never have been laid off like they where.
It's sick what people in government calls for you to do when they get paid just sitting there looking down on you.
If any job is non essential it's most of theirs.

[Blue Frost]

So, no more word about the debtor person I know, I guess he is just forgetting it, and will be harassed soon for it by collectors.
Being he has no job, a junk car, and rents an apartment they wont get much.
I guess they can go after his tax return money, not sure.
I believe there will be a lot of people in that shape this coming year, so many people out of work, and hurting.
For me I still worry about him, but he made his bed, he will just have to deal with it.

I think when I'm caught up from this Christmas, and car insurance payments Ill be looking for a new gun I can show off to him.
I am kind of a dick like that.

[Mel Gibson]

So, no more word about the debtor person I know, I guess he is just forgetting it, and will be harassed soon for it by collectors.

I know people like this, and to be honest they don't really care. If they can get money outta you, great! If not, no big deal...

It's just how they live. They differ from you or I: If I was to ask someone for help, it would be a serious request in serious times, basically a one off thing. We tend to view others as doing the same thing, which is not always the case at all. I would have shame begging any friends for money, but I have had friends that don't see any shame in begging. They are different than me... The minute you say no to them though, it's back to normal for them and they fuck off with the begging... at least for a little while.

Human nature, I guess.

[Blue Frost]

Yeah, I know people like that, and we didn't stay friends long because I don't like users.
I have never asked for anything from others, I rather do without, but if I do it would bug the hell out of me till I payed it back with interest.

This friend has borrowed a lot of times from me, and always paid it back, but being jobless, and no sign of a job for him I just can't do it.
I'm also doing without, and want my safety net where it is which is something they have no clue of.