Hello :-) ... Hows Life ?

[Blue Frost]

Well I was almost not back, and had some bad issues, and still do, but they wanted me out of the hospital.
I really wish i didn't even have it done, I'm not sure Ill even be close to normal again.
Almost dying in a freezing room didn't help me any either, thanks goodness the nice nurse came in, and helped me that night.

[Renee]

Thanks You everyone, it's been a hard time, and more than I expected.
I had two major surgeries back to back almost, and I have lost ten pounds on top that.


I have a lot of stories of death, and near death chasing me around, and some really strange stuff also.
A poo monster even
Oh wait, those shadow creatures, get out of my eye you pest.

Anyway I'm not well, and if I recover it will take months they say..
I'm thinking since I still have the time Ill try to get things in order, it should have been done already, but didn't get done.
Love you all, I hope I can be on more later.

OMG I'm so very glad to hear that you made it.... I know right now shit looks kinda bleak but don't give up. You'll make it.

Don't let the poop monster get you... It's highly unsanitary to be mauled buy a giant turd...

As for those shadow people, they are usually benign low level spirits that manifest themselves for a variety of reasons but it's common during or after a traumatic expeirence. They usually dart in and out of your peripheral vision and that's about it. When you are feelng better I will tell you how to get rid of them but it requires you being physically active which right now is probably not in your best interest. Unless you feel directly threatened just ignore them.

[beanthere]

He's back!

Been praying for you...still am.

[Mel Gibson]

Well I was almost not back, and had some bad issues, and still do, but they wanted me out of the hospital.
I really wish i didn't even have it done, I'm not sure Ill even be close to normal again.
Almost dying in a freezing room didn't help me any either, thanks goodness the nice nurse came in, and helped me that night.

You just have to take things easy, as it takes a few weeks for certain things to heal up!

They keep hospitals cold as to slow the rot and subsequent stench of dead bodies from permeating the building... You are lucky you made it out alive!

[Blue Frost]

Rarely thanks everyone. I'm trying.
I'm not used to being this helpless, vulnerable, and in so much distress.
I can't take anything for it with my history, and system, and nothing worked at the hospital anyway.
Morphine did much of nothing, so if that tells you something.

My trips was mostly due to meds, and a few near death events, after I regained my brain a little I could explain most of them.
The shadows are still here, makes me think I have mice, or rats in the house more than anything.
The worst story I have was bleeding out, and freezing, I had a trip over that, and could make a good little movie over it.
My favorite was the foot ghoul, people thought it creepy, but I found it amusing, and cute myself.

Sorry if I'm not coherent enough, and not typing out well, I'm not sure I'm even getting things right now.
I better get off here, it's hard doing this.
So thanks again everyone, thought about you all many times over the past two weeks.

[Blue Frost]

Well I was almost not back, and had some bad issues, and still do, but they wanted me out of the hospital.
I really wish i didn't even have it done, I'm not sure Ill even be close to normal again.
Almost dying in a freezing room didn't help me any either, thanks goodness the nice nurse came in, and helped me that night.

You just have to take things easy, as it takes a few weeks for certain things to heal up!

They keep hospitals cold as to slow the rot and subsequent stench of dead bodies from permeating the building... You are lucky you made it out alive!

Mel, I'm not really sure if I'm alive right now, things are quite unreal for me, and confusing.
It's going to be hard, but Ill try to get it together, gotta for family you know.

If I had it to do over it wouldn't have happened, I do know that much, I have lost a lot that will never come back again even if I live for it a bit longer.
Good seeing you Mel, I hope things are good there.

[Mel Gibson]

I was put down on Ketamine in the ER once, and I was certain I was yelling 'N*GGERS!' when I started coming to!

I even asked about my actions once I was fully with it. Nurse said I did "just fine"... So I don't know.

The Nurse did say that combat vets often have a problem with Special K, and they can get violent and relive their tour of duty on that shit...

[Blue Frost]

Oh I gotta good one for you all, they tried to do a limited sleep study when I was in there, they couldn't do it.
The technician for two nights tried, and said I just didn't sleep enough where they could do it.
Apparently they think I have sleep apnea is why the test, but insomnia trumps it.
All they had to do was ask me, I know myself pretty good.

The nurses would come in, and ask when I slept, and talk about me walking the halls at all hours when I was trying to get out of the place.
I thought I slept more myself, but apperantly I really don't sleep that much, just zone out I guess.

[Blue Frost]

I was put down on Ketamine in the ER once, and I was certain I was yelling 'N*GGERS!' when I started coming to!

I even asked about my actions once I was fully with it. Nurse said I did "just fine"... So I don't know.

The Nurse did say that combat vets often have a problem with Special K, and they can get violent and relive their tour of duty on that shit...

Well my second trip in the OR I apparently went off when leaving, but I had my reason I guess.
Apparently after they cut the ulcers out from my stomach I started waking, and they took all they finished me up fast.
Well I started crapping all over myself, and I can't handle that, I'm not a dirty person.
Here they are wheeling me back to ccu, and somehow I got my hand back there, slinging the stuff away from myself frantically.
So here I am being rushed back, and the whole hall on two floors covered in black ooze from my burnt insides.
Now here is the kicker, there was a person right behind me started doing the same thing, everyone was panicking

[Blue Frost]

Sorry Mel, gotta go, I can't do this anymore right now, hard breathing. Hugs buddy.

[Mel Gibson]

You should be OK I think... When I broke a rib recently, it was a few weeks before that healed itself. Some things even the Doctors cannot speed up!

Now that you're out of that god forsaken hospital environment, you can heal even better.

Did they actually give you your own room? Or were you forced to stare at some dying, hacking, wheezing old lady all day and night six feet from your bed?

[Mel Gibson]

Sorry Mel, gotta go, I can't do this anymore right now, hard breathing. Hugs buddy.

You rest. All is well on this end!

[Renee]

Well I was almost not back, and had some bad issues, and still do, but they wanted me out of the hospital.
I really wish i didn't even have it done, I'm not sure Ill even be close to normal again.
Almost dying in a freezing room didn't help me any either, thanks goodness the nice nurse came in, and helped me that night.

You just have to take things easy, as it takes a few weeks for certain things to heal up!

They keep hospitals cold as to slow the rot and subsequent stench of dead bodies from permeating the building... You are lucky you made it out alive!

Mel, they have refrigerated morgues for that.

They keep places like ORs and post OP cold because it slows the bleeding that can occur. Plus they don't want surgeons sweating over patients with open wounds... Your such a nincompoop.

[Renee]

Well I was almost not back, and had some bad issues, and still do, but they wanted me out of the hospital.
I really wish i didn't even have it done, I'm not sure Ill even be close to normal again.
Almost dying in a freezing room didn't help me any either, thanks goodness the nice nurse came in, and helped me that night.

You just have to take things easy, as it takes a few weeks for certain things to heal up!

They keep hospitals cold as to slow the rot and subsequent stench of dead bodies from permeating the building... You are lucky you made it out alive!

Mel, they have refrigerated morgues for that.

They keep places like ORs and post OP cold because it slows the bleeding that can occur. Plus they don't want surgeons sweating over patients with open wounds... You're such a nincompoop...

[Renee]

Oh I gotta good one for you all, they tried to do a limited sleep study when I was in there, they couldn't do it.
The technician for two nights tried, and said I just didn't sleep enough where they could do it.
Apparently they think I have sleep apnea is why the test, but insomnia trumps it.
All they had to do was ask me, I know myself pretty good.

The nurses would come in, and ask when I slept, and talk about me walking the halls at all hours when I was trying to get out of the place.
I thought I slept more myself, but apperantly I really don't sleep that much, just zone out I guess.

I have similar issues. I don't really sleep. I doze and kind of remain in a half asleep / half awake limbo... About once a month or so I will just crash and sleep for 6 or 8 hours but that's about as good as it gets...

And when you don't sleep you see those shadow people more... I'm not sure the rise in frequency is psychosis from sleep deprivation or it's just that you become more aware of their presence.

When I went in for knee and ACL surgery a few years ago the nurses said I kept trying to get out of bed. Unfortunately I wasn't supposed to put too much pressure on my ACL right away so they actually had to set the bed alarm... It was like being in prison..

[Renee]

I was put down on Ketamine in the ER once, and I was certain I was yelling 'N*GGERS!' when I started coming to!

I even asked about my actions once I was fully with it. Nurse said I did "just fine"... So I don't know.

The Nurse did say that combat vets often have a problem with Special K, and they can get violent and relive their tour of duty on that shit...

You were probably yelling "I LOVE N*GGERS!" As the black male nurse was patching up your bleeding rectum.

The real question is, were you actually unconscious?...

[Blue Frost]

You should be OK I think... When I broke a rib recently, it was a few weeks before that healed itself. Some things even the Doctors cannot speed up!

Now that you're out of that god forsaken hospital environment, you can heal even better.

Did they actually give you your own room? Or were you forced to stare at some dying, hacking, wheezing old lady all day and night six feet from your bed?

Own room, own bathroom, own set of nurses that i say where top class.
The food was nasty, they threatened to put me on a feeding tube, I said no way, and got my family to bring stuff.
I look like death right now, and like I lost a lot, but I only lost a few lbs.

I did see them wheel out the next rooms occupant, she died, and the family was starting stuff ith the nurses.
I know those nurses, and they did all they could, if anything it was the poor health, or meds like with me.

I really didn't expect myself leaving, and kind of wish i didn't how I have been.
I really have little more here than family, and they could do without me.
I'm just tired you know, tired of it all.

[Blue Frost]

Oh I gotta good one for you all, they tried to do a limited sleep study when I was in there, they couldn't do it.
The technician for two nights tried, and said I just didn't sleep enough where they could do it.
Apparently they think I have sleep apnea is why the test, but insomnia trumps it.
All they had to do was ask me, I know myself pretty good.

The nurses would come in, and ask when I slept, and talk about me walking the halls at all hours when I was trying to get out of the place.
I thought I slept more myself, but apperantly I really don't sleep that much, just zone out I guess.

I have similar issues. I don't really sleep. I doze and kind of remain in a half asleep / half awake limbo... About once a month or so I will just crash and sleep for 6 or 8 hours but that's about as good as it gets...

And when you don't sleep you see those shadow people more... I'm not sure the rise in frequency is psychosis from sleep deprivation or it's just that you become more aware of their presence.

When I went in for knee and ACL surgery a few years ago the nurses said I kept trying to get out of bed. Unfortunately I wasn't supposed to put too much pressure on my ACL right away so they actually had to set the bed alarm... It was like being in prison..

I was told years ago how I sleep is like the guards of the hunter gather clans of old, it's an adaptation that carried on.
I can sleep hard, but I feel bad after, and it's not that often.

I was told at the hospital people with sleep apnea see the shadow people a lot, and it's just a visual phantom.
What i noticed about mine was the floaters in my eyes has a lot to do with it, I'm still seeing them zip by from place to place, frigging annoying.

[Renee]

You should be OK I think... When I broke a rib recently, it was a few weeks before that healed itself. Some things even the Doctors cannot speed up!

Now that you're out of that god forsaken hospital environment, you can heal even better.

Did they actually give you your own room? Or were you forced to stare at some dying, hacking, wheezing old lady all day and night six feet from your bed?

Own room, own bathroom, own set of nurses that i say where top class.
The food was nasty, they threatened to put me on a feeding tube, I said no way, and got my family to bring stuff.
I look like death right now, and like I lost a lot, but I only lost a few lbs.

I did see them wheel out the next rooms occupant, she died, and the family was starting stuff ith the nurses.
I know those nurses, and they did all they could, if anything it was the poor health, or meds like with me.

I really didn't expect myself leaving, and kind of wish i didn't how I have been.
I really have little more here than family, and they could do without me.
I'm just tired you know, tired of it all.

Right now you need rest. I know things look pretty shitty right now but you will get through it and you will feel better. Keep a positive attitude as much as possible. You were well enough to be discharged so that is something. Are you home or in a cardiac rehabilitation facility? If you are home that's a good thing.

Try to rest and relax. The healing process will be long and hard so don't give up hope. Take it one day at a time.

All my best.

[Blue Frost]

I'm not sure Renee, I have more issues now than before surgery.
I wonder why I had the surgery now since it hurt me more than the issues.
I know some time is needed, but I don't know if I can deal with it, I sneezed earlier, and thought I was going to die.