Shall I Post My Rental Agreement On Here?

[extralegs2020]

Aren't I great?
Aren't I brilliant?

And Vancouver condos are a better investment than gold bullion. See here:
https://www.vancourier.com/real-estate/ ... -1.1847076
Apartments in Manhattan, London, and Vancouver are the very BEST investment--after contemporary art.
That's right, folks! We here in Vancouver are right up there with New York and London, the World's top two cities.
You can't beat that!
So who says vancouver isn't a 'great place'?
Come again?

[soon]

are you sure all this didn't take place on the astral plane?

[Blurt]

I have excellent relations with my tenants. That's why they never leave me.

Perchance, do any of them have a first name ending with the letter "a"?

[Blurt]

Your RA looks pretty sub-standard to me, El.

I'll take a wild guess here and say your tenants will be parking their vehicle in the bathroom and growing their pot plants in the bedroom closet.

[Markus]

Aren't I great?
Aren't I brilliant?

And Vancouver condos are a better investment than gold bullion. See here:
https://www.vancourier.com/real-estate/ ... -1.1847076
Apartments in Manhattan, London, and Vancouver are the very BEST investment--after contemporary art.
That's right, folks! We here in Vancouver are right up there with New York and London, the World's top two cities.
You can't beat that!
So who says vancouver isn't a 'great place'?
Come again?

The Maguire is a shit hole.

[extralegs2020]

Your RA looks pretty sub-standard to me, El.

I'll take a wild guess here and say your tenants will be parking their vehicle in the bathroom and growing their pot plants in the bedroom closet.

Read the agreement.
If they grow pot, I can nail them for it, six different ways.
Here's one of them:
12. The tenant agrees not to use the rental unit for any purpose other than as a residence. Neither the premises nor any part of the premises will be used at any time during the term of this lease by the tenant for the purpose of carrying out any business, profession, or trade of any kind, or for the purpose other than as a private single-family residence.

[extralegs2020]

The Mag

My condo there was assessed for $1,092,000.00. That's by the the City of Vancouver. That is usually about 25% under market value.

[Blurt]

Your RA looks pretty sub-standard to me, El.

I'll take a wild guess here and say your tenants will be parking their vehicle in the bathroom and growing their pot plants in the bedroom closet.

Read the agreement.
If they grow pot, I can nail them for it, six different ways.
Here's one of them:
12. The tenant agrees not to use the rental unit for any purpose other than as a residence. Neither the premises nor any part of the premises will be used at any time during the term of this lease by the tenant for the purpose of carrying out any business, profession, or trade of any kind, or for the purpose other than as a private single-family residence.

Well, maybe try another way to nail them. Growing marijuana plants in your residence for personal use is legal under the laws of both Canada and BC.

A good lawyer would've told you that.

Cheap ass.

[mimi]

Ya...that....AND....while it's not illegal to ask for SIN.....nobody is obligated to give it to you.

[extralegs2020]

are you sure all this didn't take place on the astral plane?

I do NOT have a net worth of an "Imaginary" $3.5 million CAD.
I do not have five (5) imaginary condos.
I do not have an imaginary Mercedes Benz 2013 ML350 SUV.
I do not have an imaginary Rolex Submariner Superlative Chronometer and timepiece.
Nor an imaginary top-line 55" Sony Bravia T.V.
Or an imaginary bank account with $100,000.00 in surplus expenses and spending money.
But I know that YOU have all those things!

[extralegs2020]

For example, notice Paragraph 26, above, end of page 3 and continuing on to page 4. My tenant is bound by ALL those rules, ALL those laws, ALL those documents--seven (7) in all, in addition to this agreement.

Let me reiterate this.

[extralegs2020]

Your RA looks pretty sub-standard to me, El.

I'll take a wild guess here and say your tenants will be parking their vehicle in the bathroom and growing their pot plants in the bedroom closet.

Read the agreement.
If they grow pot, I can nail them for it, six different ways.
Here's one of them:
12. The tenant agrees not to use the rental unit for any purpose other than as a residence. Neither the premises nor any part of the premises will be used at any time during the term of this lease by the tenant for the purpose of carrying out any business, profession, or trade of any kind, or for the purpose other than as a private single-family residence.

Well, maybe try another way to nail them. Growing marijuana plants in your residence for personal use is legal under the laws of both Canada and BC.

A good lawyer would've told you that.

Cheap ass.

So, the point is, that if I can't get them one way, I can always get them some other way.

[Blurt]

Nope.

Like your religion, your rental agreement is full of holes.

Back to the drawing board with you!

[extralegs2020]

Neither one is full of ANY holes!
It's an air-tight legal document--which I am very proud of creating.

[Blurt]

I'll take that as a "well, there you go!"

[Seamajor]

You sound angry today amigo? ^^^^^

[Blurt]

I'm not angry.

I'm just built that way.

[evs]

I may steal that line:))

[extralegs2020]

Ya...that....AND....while it's not illegal to ask for SIN.....nobody is obligated to give it to you.

Yes.
But they had BETTER give me enough information to pass the screening. I am not too fussy about the rest.
However, that is the bare minimum which I would settle for. Nothing less. If they don't pass the screening, they don't get in.
I am sure many people on here would NEVER pass my screening, and so I would never rent to them.
Women like yourself, however, are usually an exception. Women make much better tenants. They feather the nest and take care of the place, generally, better than men. They are home bodies.

[Blurt]

Ain't life in the 1950's grand?

Welcome to the Extralegs Slum House and Time Machine.

Just sign here for free cockroaches and space age kitchen appliances.

Women, know your place!

And please put down that rolling pin.

[Berry Sweet]

Aren't I great?
Aren't I brilliant?

[extralegs2020]

For someone who loves women as much as I do, I sure get a lot of heat--and a lot of flak--from Blurt.
But it's okay. I have my flak jacket on.

Ain't life in the 1950's grand?

Welcome to the Extralegs Slum House and Time Machine.

Just sign here for free cockroaches and space age kitchen appliances.

Women, know your place!

And please put down that rolling pin.

Of course, I am not permitted to ADVERTISE that I would prefer to rent my suites to women. That is considered 'discriminatory'. It is therefore illegal.

[Blurt]

El, you don't love women, 'tis plain to see.

You love how women make you feel as a man. You love their mouths, you love their pussies, you love anything about them that revolves around your cock. But you don't love women.

I can just see you itching to include a clause in your rental agreement that would require female tenants to service you, to tend to your sexual needs as a condition of residence.

You don't love women; you love your dick. Almost as much as you love your view of yourself as an accomplished Renaissance man, a savvy manipulator of elemental forces, a prophet, and a Mensa supermodel. You love all that more than you love your cock, 'tis true. But you still love your cock more than you'll ever love women.

[evs]

Well said. Funny that. No wonder he has such strong feelings for other ppl with dicks, like loch and you, and can only be with women who leave his house after they service him.

So many dormant homosexuals out there. Why don’t they just come out?

[extralegs2020]

I have a strong male polarity, Lady. That means a strong attraction to the opposite pole, namely, females. There is no homo bone in my body.
Male companionship for me is highly dependent on mental connection and chemistry: wit, intelligence, wisdom. But there is nothing at all 'physical' in it for me.
Anyone who does threesomes with two women is no homo.
Blurt and Loch have a degree of mental chemistry with me--mental, NOT physical!
It's just the way I am wired.
I undoubtedly have a very strong sex drive and produce a great deal of cum. Every woman has said so.

Well said. Funny that. No wonder he has such strong feelings for other ppl with dicks, like loch and you, and can only be with women who leave his house after they service him.

So many dormant homosexuals out there. Why don’t they just come out?

[extralegs2020]

El, you don't love women, 'tis plain to see.

You love how women make you feel as a man. You love their mouths, you love their pussies, you love anything about them that revolves around your cock. But you don't love women.

I can just see you itching to include a clause in your rental agreement that would require female tenants to service you, to tend to your sexual needs as a condition of residence.

You don't love women; you love your dick. Almost as much as you love your view of yourself as an accomplished Renaissance man, a savvy manipulator of elemental forces, a prophet, and a Mensa supermodel. You love all that more than you love your cock, 'tis true. But you still love your cock more than you'll ever love women.

It's a good post; but note the part I have bolded. I never mix business with pleasure. I keep the two separate. I am never going to 'come on to' any of my female tenants--and over 90% of them have been female over the course of the years.
To come on to them would be a fatal error.
Why? Why would I do that? It's a losing proposition. I am getting fully satisfied elsewhere. It would cost me far too much to get serviced by them. They would want free rent; and I am not about to fork out $2,600.00 for a blow-job, not even for TEN of them!
No, thanks. I have got it all set up perfectly without those complications. Besides, there are legalities. They could sue me.

So I don't love women? Okay, then those women love me. There's no denying that. They seem unable to tear themselves away from my cock. They are total cum-junkies.
I video-taped my sessions with these chicas--more than two and a half hours of it. I showed it to a woman friend of mine. She viewed them and said that I am a HUGE pervert!
No: Those WOMEN are huge perverts!!!! You can see and hear them squealing with pleasure, laughing, giggling, in a threesome with me. And they are thoroughly enjoying it. It's plain to see.

It's a great post, though, Blurt. It shows some depth and understanding of me; and I, like everyone else, like to be understood.

[evs]

I undoubtedly have a very strong sex drive and produce a great deal of cum.

That’s so wrong it’s cute:) one has nothing to do with the other.

And the reason you only have sex with service workers I.e. prostitutes is?..

[extralegs2020]

I undoubtedly have a very strong sex drive and produce a great deal of cum.

That’s so wrong it’s cute:) one has nothing to do with the other.

And the reason you only have sex with service workers I.e. prostitutes is?..

I don't have sex ONLY with prossies.
It's just that the prossies are hot, willing, able, even eager. They are the ones that seem to enjoy it the most.
And, believe me, it's not all acting.
And as for the money I dish out, it is absolutely minimal. They are entitled to SOMETHING for the service. Better this way than to make them my GF, or, worse still, my wife!
But they do not do this with other men. I am special. They tell me that they are, in that sense NOT my whores. Whores do it indiscriminately for others as well. They are just for me.
And if they didn't really care for me, I would know it. Believe me, I would know it. You can't fake it. You just can't fake love.
I am an obsession with them.

[extralegs2020]

See, now, at the moment, I am having a problem with my tenant in one of my suites.
She has refused to pay the 'Move-In Fee' to the Stata.
So the Strata has put it on my account, a bill for $150.00 owning to the owner of the suite: That's me.
BUT .... I am covered. See here: Paragraph 22 of the agreement which she signed:

"22. All fines and expenses that are charged by and owed to the Strata Corporation that the tenant, his or her invited guests and visitors, or persons permitted to live in the rental unit by the tenant have incurred, as a result of his or her actions or omissions, by contravention of the bylaws, and which are levied against the strata lot, the suite, the owner landlord, or the tenant, are the responsibility of the tenant, and must be paid either directly to the Strata Corporation, or to the landlord, promptly and on time, when due and payable, by the tenant. Failure by the tenant to comply with this term of the rental agreement constitutes a material breach of this tenancy agreement, whereupon the landlord may serve a notice to terminate the tenancy agreement and to end the residential tenancy."

I shall eventually get it out of the security / damage deposit which she paid me upon signing up.

And that's how the Master E. L. does business: The smart way.
Don't you wish you were more like me?

[Blurt]

I would only wish I were more like you if the package came with charm, wit, and intelligence.

As things stand, I'll have to settle for a desideratum clause.